Are You Living Your Dream?

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When I think back to when I first really considered homeschooling, I remember that it seemed a far off dream.  There was no way my husband was going to go for that.  There was no way I could be that kind of person.  There was no way finances would allow for it.  A million obstacles rose up in my mind to dissuade me from believing that we could do it.

Years later, here we are, doing it.  Little by little, those obstacles slid away—not without some conscious effort on some things, of course, but nevertheless, they were removed.  Here I am, living pretty much the only thing I’ve ever discerned to be a true calling.  Sure, there have been things I really wanted to do, things I know I could have (or could still be, as a side deal) very good at.  But I honestly believe this was something I was born to do.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret: the part about “me being that kind of person” is not something that slides away all at once and never needs to be dealt with again.  That is a daily challenge.  Sometimes, I DON’T WANNA! Just like anybody, I want time to do things I like, and I want to do them on the spur of the moment most times.  Sometimes, homeschooling seems like a burden that I’ve taken on.  The days when scheduling or cooperation are a problem, for example.  Do you ever have those days?  I’m sure it’s just me. In other words, once I got what I wanted, I had to come face to face with the sacrifice and growing that homeschooling implies.

It really helps me when I feel like I’m stuck underneath a mountain—by my own choosing, I might add—or when I feel like I’m not up to the sacrifices, to recall how fervently I hoped I’d be able to homeschool my kids.  To think of how I prayed for it—as usual, underestimating God’s grace and ability to turn around a seemingly impossible situation.  It helps to remember that I’M LIVING MY DREAM!  And when I look at it in that light, it never seems like a case of Be Careful What You Wish For, but rather that every good thing requires work and that I sure am lucky to have been called into a situation that doesn’t let me sit back and stay the same person I was when I was 25.  It makes me confront myself and my selfishness.

Can you remember what you were thinking when you first decided to homeschool your kids?  Was it that you wanted to inspire in them a true love of learning?  Was it the idea of getting to be with them throughout the day and teach them gently?  Was it the opportunity to infuse their lives with Christ’s love and teachings?  What inspiration do you draw from looking back?